gobecky: children

I learn many things from working with elementary school aged children.

Today, I learned that band-aids are like gold to some children. They will not stop shrieking until you give them one, even if they're not bleeding and have been screaming for close to an hour. She must have been absorbing drugs through her skin by band-aid and I just didn't know it. I also learned that kids realize when other kids are being crazy and will be disappointed in you when you give in and give the banshee a band-aid.

But most of all, I learned that kids are just as clueless as adults.

When I went into work today, I sat down at a table with my clipboard to see who I would have. Four or five girls were sitting and standing near me. They were older than the kids in my group-- they were in 5th or 6th grade. A couple were playing some kind of hand-clap game that I didn't pay much attention to until I heard

then he kicked me down the stairs.

Excuse me?

I was shocked. Loudly, I said,"Woah! What are you saying?" The girls repeated it for me, and I wish I could repeat it here, but unfortunately I don't remember all of it. However, the most important part has stayed with me. Here's a stanza from a similar one I found on the googs.

My boyfriend gave me an apple
my boyfriend gave me a pear
my boyfriend gave me a kiss on the lips
and threw me down the stairs

I remember most of the premise of the rhyme. The girl's mother took her to the grocery store where she met a blond haired, blue eyed boy who she fell in love with. Then he kicked her down the stairs.

Whatever way you spin it, the girls were singing about and normalizing domestic violence. I made the girls stop. I know many people, perhaps the other adults in the room, disagree/d with me. Whatever, it's just a game! Lighten up, Becky!

Many people think that a subtle presence like a clapping rhyme does no damage. You don't really internalize that stuff, right? It's like when people talk about advertising... I'm smarter than that. Seeing that on tv didn't make me go out and buy it. I have free will! But before you know it, you're disappointed that the gadget you just chucked your paycheck into doesn't make you feel or look as cool as you thought it would.

I will not passively allow the girls around me to internalize oppression. They do, whether or not you want to recognize it. A seven year old was very upset the other day. She told me she's 80 pounds and that she really needed to start exercising before she got any fatter. (Needless to say, we had a long talk that day about being healthy vs. being skinny.) The fact that the girls today were playing a domestic violence hand game shows us how numb and passive we have become to male hegemony.

This is an ad from a society where a woman is battered every 15 seconds.