I have a fat ass, apparently.

Dear "friend,"

We were recently at a party together. Sure, we're not the best of friends, but we had a class together and worked on some projects together freshman year.

It was nice to see you. I said hello on my way to the bathroom. You might imagine my surprise when I could hear you outside the door. "She has such a fat ass. It's just so...wide." Someone tried to quiet you, saying that maybe I could hear you inside the bathroom. That person was right. "I don't care! I don't care who hears me!"

I'm 5"5' and 127 pounds. That is not fat. Even if I was, who are you to criticize me?

You tried to talk to me later, but I cut you off. Maybe that wasn't the right thing to do, but I didn't want to hear what you had to say, especially because I have had a tough time with weight, like many girls.

I've never been anorexic or bulimic, but I've thought about it. I've criticized myself for my thighs touching. My family seems to carry our weight in our thighs when we gain it. I've lost weight rapidly after a break up, and criticized myself when I returned to my previous weight.

Later, you apologized. You told me that I should know I'm a beautiful person. I brushed it off-- no offense, but it meant nothing to me. If you really wanted to make an impression, you should have told me I was an intelligent person. That would have meant more.

You told me you say strange things when you're drunk. I said it was fine, no big deal. The fact of the matter is, it was a big deal.

You see, girls (and boys too) starve themselves. They make themselves throw up. They're depressed and hopeless. They die because of comments like what you said about me last night.

I forgive you for what you said. People make mistakes. But please, realize that what you said contributes to a larger problem that physically, mentally, and emotionally hurts people. I forgive you, but it is not okay.

Becky

P.S. For the record, a friend said they'd vote for my butt if it ran for President.